Siblings squabble, whether more or less! It’s inevitable, and it’s a rare day when a parent of more than one child, with not too much age difference between them, isn’t bombarded with high-pitched complaints and treated to an unearthly rumpus because one child is bugging the other and the other either retaliates or yowls for Mama (or, like my son, sagaciously does both). My brother teased me unstintingly when I was little, whether by pulling my braid, inventing stories featuring him as the hero and me as the villain or, in later years, bestowing on me uncomplimentary epithets in the style of that master of wit, P. G. Wodehouse. (He still tries to bug me occasionally and says it’s a credit to his “training” that I’ve developed the hide of a rhinoceros). Similarly, my daughter leaves no stone unturned in her self-appointed mission of bugging her brother. Alas, such is the fate of the younger child! However, while I was a peaceable kind of little sister and more inclined to yowl for Mama than retaliate, Aniruddh has learnt well from his older sibling and is now quite as much initiator as recipient. Which leaves me no choice but to master the art of tuning out when the children create an uproar and to placidly rattle away at my keyboard despite the two banshees at my head.
This, of course, means that the moments when there is calm and amiable companionship, when both children sit cosily together with their books, when Juhi enthusiastically fixes them both sandwiches, when Aniruddh on his own initiative pours out juice for the two of them, when they chuckle over their own special, peculiar jokes at bedtime, when they discuss the books they’ve read or even analyse together the merits of Moltres versus Articuno and Zapdos versus Lugia (hey, don’t ask me; they’re the Pokémon experts) – well, precious moments like these reassure one that these two loving, lovable, exasperating nutcases might just leave each other unscathed and enter adulthood as friendly, affectionate, relatively sane siblings.
One of the special days that celebrates these moments and the bond between a brother and a sister is Raksha Bandhan. Of course, after multiple warnings the day before: “Tomorrow is Raksha Bandhan! No fighting tomorrow!” Jokes apart and bickering notwithstanding, there is no mistaking the genuine love that the children bear for each other. Juhi is fiercely protective of her younger brother and Aniruddh has a high regard for his older sister’s opinion. As they grow up, I am sanguine that their bond will strengthen even further and they will truly value the rakhi – the symbolic tie of love and protection that comes with a pledge, traditionally made by the brother to the sister, that he will always protect her. Changing tradition with the times, many parents now encourage their children to consider it a two-way pledge and the sister promises to protect the brother too. Taking it further, we also see brothers tying rakhis to brothers and sisters tying them to sisters. For my part, I have divided the two-way pledge between Raksha Bandhan and Bhai Duj (the fifth and last day of the Diwali festival). There are many stories surrounding the origin of Bhai Duj (most of which reiterate the brother’s promise to protect his sister) but a relatively unknown one that I read somewhere and which stayed with me is about a sister undergoing extreme hardship to save her brother’s life – protecting her brother. So Raksha Bandhan is Aniruddh’s promise to have Juhi’s back always, and Bhai Duj is Juhi’s pledge to stand rock-solid by Aniruddh.
Coming to the practical aspects of the festival, choosing rakhis for our brothers and cousins is always fun! Whether selecting spools of thread at home to make the rakhis ourselves or choosing from among the colourful array in local shops, this is a fantastic occasion for mother-daughter bonding! Last year we had to be sure to select a red and gold rakhi for Aniruddh because his house colour at school is red, besides which he insists he’s in Gryffindor! Even his birthday decorations had to be red and he’d gone off green completely as being a Slytherin colour. Sweet delicacies are another essential for Raksha Bandhan, as for any Indian festival. Some years we have made halwa / kheer / kaju barfi / besan laddoos or even banana bread at home for Raksha Bandhan and other years we have bought chocolates or mithai. Then, the gift from the brother to the sister (now giving way to the modern trend of siblings exchanging gifts). Given that Juhi’s main hobby is reading, this becomes an excellent occasion for mother-son bonding! I am reminded of one Raksha Bandhan some years ago when I asked Aniruddh what he’d like to gift Juhi and he replied, “A Roald Dahl, Mama, because that’s what Didda loves best.”
On this special occasion, let us all give some thought to what our loved ones love best – and not necessarily material things! Happy Raksha Bandhan!
Shivani Adib 
It is inspiring to observe that there still are people who have successfully guarded the tradition from the clutches of consumerism. Hand made rakhis and sweets not only strengthen the bond, but also involve a process which makes a person understand the beauty of relationships. A commendable way to celebrate the festival, indeed! Splitting the promise of protecting each other at Rakshabandhan and Bhai Duj speaks a lot about the way in which Indianness is reflective of inherent respect for each other. Kudos to you Ma’am!
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Thank you very much. 🙂
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